The Affairs of Mishima Manor
by Catspee
Summary: Go through the lives of Mishima Manor, as they go through affairs and a lot of crazy things. RR PLEASE!
1. The Crazyness of Yonder

The Affairs of Mishima Manor  
  
A/N: Yes, I have a bad reputation with Tekken and lost interest in it for a very long time, but now I've gotten interest again.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
And so it was another day of Mishima Manor as it was morning time. Jun was cooking scrambled eggs with bacon (don't we all love bacon?).  
  
Lee quietly smoked outside, as for his girlfriend screamed at him in the phone and they were about to break up.  
  
Kazuya was drinking beer in the kitchen, waiting for Jun to finished making scrambled eggs and bacon.  
  
Jin was playing video games, and he was playing Spyro the Dragon, the first one... when he had a PS2, and would buy the PS3 as soon as it came out. He had all the PSMs in America... or Japan.  
  
"Must beat this god damn... hippy," said Jin. Jun could hear him. "JIN!! DON'T SWEAR GOD!!! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!!"  
  
"NO!!" screamed Jin.  
  
"DO WHAT YOUR MOM SAID!!!" screamed Kazuya. "FINE!!" screamed Jin back, he saved his game and turned it off. Heihachi came down the stairs, wearing his sumo outfit... or the one in Tekken 4, which is like thong.  
  
"HAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kazuya, pointed at Heihachi. "You're wearing diapers you old fart!" Lee then came into the kitchen, and also laughed.  
  
"KAZUYA AND LEE! Stop laughing at your father. Now go to church and forgive your sins!" exclaimed Jun. "Or I'll smack this pan with you."  
  
"Smacking me with a pan is a sin, Jun," said Kazuya.  
  
"I have rights to. God allowed me to smack you with a pan!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"Eh... okay," said Kazuya. He then left the mansion with Lee.  
  
"Thanks Jun! Say... want to go out on a little date?" asked Heihachi, being a pervert.  
  
"NO WAY!!" screamed Jun. "YOU PERVERT!!" Jun then smacked Heihachi with a pan.  
  
"Ouch," said Heihachi.  
  
So on the road to Church  
  
Jin went into Hwoarang's house, or Bob's house. "All right Hwoarang, I'll go to your rap battle," said Jin as he entered Hwoarang's room.  
  
"Seriously? Awesome!" exclaimed Hwoarang. "I'll have the best rap ever!! So, how's it going with Ling?"  
  
"Fine," answered Jin. "We've been fine. You and Julia?"  
  
"Great! She hasn't figured it out that I'm a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
"That's going to be a great issue when she finds out," said Jin. "Oh shit!" exclaimed Jin. "Duck!" Jin then ducked down, the same with Hwoarang.  
  
"What?" asked Hwoarang. "My dad and uncle. They passed by the house... I'm so screwed!" answered Jin.  
  
"Where were you supposed to go anyways?" asked Hwoarang.  
  
"I was supposed to go to church and forgive my sins. Then they'll notice and tell on Jun! Then she'll take my video games. I am so screwed," said Jin.  
  
"I have a great idea," said Hwoarang. "You say you ran to church and ran back, then went to my house!"  
  
"Great idea. But they'd see me, won't they?" asked Jin.  
  
"Yeah, but then you'll say you went to church and went into my house! It's that simple," said Hwoarang.  
  
"Damn, you keep doing that and you'll be a negotiator," said Jin. "That should be your job."  
  
"Yep, but I'm just a dealer, a rapper, and a druggie!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
"With a job at C-Town," said Jin.  
  
"Yeah!" exclaimed Hwoarang. They then got up. "So tonight's the battle?" asked Jin. "Yep, you better fucking be there you asshole!" exclaimed Hwoarang. Jin then punched Hwoarang's face, which then punched Jin's face back.  
  
"FUCK!!" screamed Jin. "Where the fuck do I cover up this bruise?" asked Jin, who got a bruise from Hwoarang.  
  
"You go to the bathroom and put mask on it," said Hwoarang.  
  
"Great idea!" exclaimed Jin, he went to the bathroom and putted mask on his face. "I'll just say I want to look good for tonight!"  
  
"Yeah!!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
"But now, I must go!" exclaimed Jin, he then left the house and went to his mansion.  
  
Back at the mansion  
  
"So Jin... forgave your sins?" asked Jun, unnoticing the mask on Jun's face.  
  
"Yes mother," said Jin. He went back to playing video games.  
  
So with Lee and Kazuya  
  
"So why are we going to Namco?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Nina owns Namco," said Lee.  
  
"DAMN!!" screamed Kazuya. They were in front of Namco Headquarters.  
  
"What?" asked Lee.  
  
"If Nina owns Namco, then she can make Tekken all about herself!!" exclaimed Kazuya.  
  
"Actually she's making Namco make a Nina game, and would kill them if they wouldn't do so," said Lee.  
  
"Damn she's good..." Kazuya stopped and pondered. Lee lighted up a cigarette. "What?" asked Lee.  
  
"I think... I think your thinking that I'm thinking that you're thinking that I'm thinking your thinking about me thinking something about be thinking I'm thinking about you!" exclaimed Kazuya. "GOD DAMN YOU LEE!!!" Kazuya then did an EWGF on Lee.  
  
"BITCH!!!" screamed Lee.  
  
The door then opened with Anna coming out of it... Anna was badly bruised and had lots of blood on her. And she was half naked.  
  
"Wow," said Lee. Kazuya and Lee just stared at Anna.  
  
"What the fuck are you looking at? Call the hospital... that god damn Nina almost killed me!" exclaimed Anna.  
  
"YAY!!!" screamed Lee and Kazuya, they ran inside Namco Headquarters, and caught up with Nina.  
  
"HURRY UP WITH THAT GAME FUCKERS BEFORE I SLICE ALL YOUR HEADS OFF!!" screamed Nina.  
  
"Uh... Nina," said Lee. Nina then looked at Lee.  
  
"Oh... it's you. Okay guys, there's a rap battle tonight. And I want you guys to my bodyguards. Why? The gangs are totally gonna kick my ass, and I won't live to see my Nina game!!" exclaimed Nina.  
  
"Uh... okay," the two replied.  
  
"Now, bring your shotgun Kazuya, and Lee, bring your flamethrowers. We're gonna kick some ass," said Nina. The two then went back to Mishima Manor.  
  
"Jin, why the fuck are you wearing mask?" asked Kazuya as he went inside the mansion.  
  
'Fuck,' thought Jin.  
  
"Um... I want to look good for Ling tonight," said Jin.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK? HAVE YOU BEEN GOING OUT WITH THAT GOD DAMN CHINESE DAUGHTER OF A WHORE?" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"That's offensive Kazuya! GO TO CHURCH NOW!!" screamed Jun. "Yes Junikins," said Kazuya. He ran out of the house and 10 minutes later ran back in.  
  
"Back Junikins!" exclaimed Kazuya. By then Jin washed the mask off his face.  
  
"JIN!!! ARE YOU HAVING ACME AGAIN?" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"Yes, daddy! I must go back to playing Tekken four!" exclaimed Jin. Jin then was playing Tekken 4, and was using game shark. Kazuya saw Jin kicking his characters ass...  
  
"THAT'S IT JIN!! YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN!!!" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"Stop the fucking noise!" exclaimed Heihachi. "That's it Lee, we're playing video games!!"  
  
Heihachi inserted the port controller and began fighting each other in the mysterious Tekken 4 four knock out session..., which only the Tekken characters can have.  
  
"DIEEEEEEE!" screamed Kazuya, his character did a Bitch Kick on Heihachi, and then did a TGF on him. "I'M KAZUYA MISHIMA BITCH!!!" screamed Kazuya. Lee then was kicking Jin's ass, which was busy kicking Kazuya's ass, which was blocking all of his attacks.  
  
Heihachi was busy kicking Lee's ass, and the fight continued on forever and for ages.  
  
"THAT'S IT!! ACTIVATE THE GAME SHARK!!" screamed Kazuya, his character turned into devil.  
  
"Suckers!!" exclaimed Kazuya.  
  
"Activate the game shark!!" exclaimed Lee. Lee then could block every attack and could seriously kick everyone's ass.  
  
"Active the sheer dolphin!!" exclaimed Heihachi. "Damn... uh... what's it called?"  
  
"GAME SHARK!!!" screamed Jin, his game shark was activated and he was now Super Jin!  
  
"Ah, yes. DIMENSION THE SHARK!!" screamed Heihachi, his character got huge and super powerful... and turned to Toshin Heihachi. "FEAR!!!" He then kicked everyone's ass.  
  
"SHIT!!" screamed Jin, Lee, and Kazuya. "MERGE OF THE THREE!!!"  
  
Jin, Lee, and Kazuya's character merged, and kicked Heihachi's ass.  
  
"YES!!" the three of them cheered.  
  
"GOD DAMN YOU!!" screamed Heihachi.  
  
"HEIHACHI YOU OLD FART!! GO TO CHURCH!!!" screamed Jun.  
  
"Yes Jun!" exclaimed Heihachi, he went outside and went to Baek and farted on him. Heihachi giggled and went back to the house.  
  
"Back!" exclaimed Heihachi.  
  
"HEIHACHI YOU FUCKING OLD FART!!" screamed Baek as he barged into the mansion.  
  
"DIEEEEE!" screamed Baek, he stole Kazuya's shotgun, and pointed it at Heihachi's private place.  
  
"ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!" screamed Heihachi.  
  
"You're going down fucker!!" screamed Baek, he pulled the trigger.  
  
"YEEEEEESSSS!" screamed Kazuya and Lee. "HE'S FINALLY INJURED!!! NOW HE'LL DIE!!"  
  
"G-god... d-da-damn... y-you," said Heihachi, almost dying.  
  
"YAY!!" screamed Kazuya and Lee.  
  
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Jun as she went into the room, she called 911 and instantly the ambulance came and drove Heihachi to the hospital. The cops also came and arrested Baek.  
  
"You don't have a license asshole!" exclaimed a police officer.  
  
"AHHHHH!" screamed Baek as he was sent to prison for 2 days.  
  
"I hope he dies," whispered Kazuya to Lee. "Our piece of shit dad..."  
  
"Yeah," whispered Lee back.  
  
"KAZUYA!!!" screamed Jun.  
  
End of Chapter 1 


	2. The Rap Battle

The Affairs of Mishima Manor  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken. And this chapter is very rated R.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
And so it was 8pm, and Jin got his Tekken 4 if you press X on him suit on. Kazuya was wearing his purple suit, and Lee... wore his tuxedo.  
  
"Now be careful going to Heihachi boys!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"Yes Jun!" exclaimed the three men. They walked out of the mansion and went outside. Jin went to Hwoarang's house, and Ling, Julia, and Hwoarang went out of his house.  
  
"Ready?" asked Jin. "Ready," replied Hwoarang.  
  
The four then went into the rap club, while Kazuya and Lee got Nina.  
  
"So why are you going there?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"I need to kill four people there," said Nina. "And they're people you don't know..."  
  
"Uh... okay!" exclaimed Kazuya and Lee.  
  
So at the rap battle.  
  
"You can't talk smack to me, capiesh?" asked one of the rappers, rapping.  
  
"OKAY!!! NEXT IS HWOARANG THE WHORE!" screamed King 2.  
  
Hwoarang then came up on stage. "Whatcha' talkin' about Kingster? I ain't no whore biatch!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
"NOW IS BRYAN THE MYNAH!!" screamed King 2. Everyone cheered like hell.  
  
"First up is Bryan!" exclaimed King 2. Very rap like music is being played and sounds full of rapping.  
  
"Now, whatcha' talking about whore? You can't rap cuz' you're takin' a nap! You're takin' a nap, cuz' you are afraid of rap! And rap is a nap cuz' you're a rap bitch! You can't do bitchin' cuz you're a whore! That's what your middle name is bitch. And since you're a bitch you can't say whore, cuz' since you're a bitch you're a whore. And you smell like moose, like a goose, that is from losing! You might as well call 911 biatch!" exclaimed Bryan. By this time Kazuya, Nina, and Lee entered the area.  
  
"He's screwed," said Ling.  
  
"No he isn't! Bryan's rapped sucked," said Julia.  
  
"Yeah, it sucked," said Jin.  
  
"NOW IT'S HWOARANG'S TURN!!" screamed King 2.  
  
Hwoarang's music of not much rapping began. Christie and Eddy began dancing madly, for they were the dancers of the rap battle.  
  
"So Bryan, the mynah. Do ya' think you screw around like as fucker? Like screwing all the babes, and fucking all the men! It shows how lame you are by fucking everyone! And that just shows that you're a bitch, in the vagina! Uh! Uh! UH!! YOU FUCKER. YOU WHORE. Shut the fuck up for good cuz' you can't rap for smack bitch! You better just go smoke pot cuz' that's the only thing you can do! BITCH!!" screamed Hwoarang, everyone cheered.  
  
"AND THE WINNER IS BOB!!!" screamed King 2.  
  
"My name ain't Bob you whore!" exclaimed Hwoarang; he then punched King 2 in the face. "Bitch!"  
  
Everyone cheered even more.  
  
The gangs noticed Nina, and started firing at her. Kazuya and Lee fired at all of them.  
  
"AHHHHH!" screamed Ling. Nina then aimed her knife at Hwoarang, and Jin went in front of him, then Kazuya.  
  
"BITCH!!" screamed Kazuya in slow motion. Everything was now in slow motion.  
  
Then it stopped, and no one was injured. Jun was there, blocking the attack with her pan.  
  
"Jun?" asked everyone.  
  
"Yes, it's me. NINA GO TO CHURCH NOW BEFORE I KILL YOU!!" screamed Jun. "YOU'VE COMMITED A THOUSAND SINS AND HAVEN'T CONFESSED!"  
  
"Fine!" exclaimed Nina, she went to church and confessed her sins.  
  
"As for you three. I'm displeased! I thought you were going to visit Heihachi!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"We were gonna do it after the battle," said Kazuya.  
  
"Oh, okay then," said Jun. "NOW GO TO BED!!"  
  
And so everyone went home and went to bed.  
  
The next morning...  
  
Jin was playing Tekken 2.  
  
"Ah, I remember those days," said Kazuya.  
  
"Yeah," said Lee. The phone then rang, and Jun picked it up.  
  
"Yes? Oh? Okay, he'll do it. Oh, and I hope you're okay! Bye!" Jun hanged up the phone.  
  
"Who was it?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"It was your father... he wants you... to wear his thong," said Jun.  
  
"... NOT ON YOUR GOD DAMN LIFE YOU PURITY BITCH!!! GOD DAMN YOU!!!!" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"KAZUYA!! GO TO CHURCH!" screamed Jun.  
  
"NO!!" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"NOW!!" screamed Jun.  
  
"Fuck church, fuck god, there's only a hell and no matter what shit we do we're going to hell. So shut up, and think about if there was proof of heaven! And I'm already not going to heaven because I'm with the devil! GOD!" screamed Kazuya. He watched the screen.  
  
Jun then came back outside.  
  
"Kazuya, meet me in the lab!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"This is going to be interesting," said Jin. He saved the game and turned it off. Lee got his camera and they went into the lab.  
  
So in the lab, Jun and Kazuya went into these thingies that make them virtual.  
  
Jun was punching Kazuya madly, while Kazuya was getting his ass kicked. Kazuya then started to kick Jun's ass. And Lee got it all on tape.  
  
"When they see it on tape, they'll kill us," said Lee. "I know, isn't it great?" asked Jin.  
  
And so then Jun punched Kazuya's face, and then kicked his balls. Kazuya then bitch kicked Jun, and jumped in the air and punched her stomach when she was on the floor. Jun then got up and bit Kazuya's right arm, then punched his head. Kazuya then got an concussion.  
  
"Oops," said Jun.  
  
"Jun... sorry," said Kazuya, trying to stay awake. "LEE! Get us... out... of... here..."  
  
They then got out of the virtual world, and Kazuya was sent to the hospital.  
  
"I feel so sad for my Kazzy now," said Jun. "I am a horrible wife!"  
  
"No you aren't! You're my mommy," said Jin, acting like a baby. He then hugged Jun.  
  
"Aw," said Lee.  
  
So at the hospital.  
  
"Damn... I'm next to you," said Kazuya to Heihachi.  
  
"Why of course I am," said Heihachi.  
  
"Did you noticed that we've been sent to the hospital because of Jun?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Yeah," answered Heihachi.  
  
"Isn't she great?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Whatever devil gene bastard of a son," said Heihachi.  
  
"Fuck you old fart!!" exclaimed Kazuya. "And you old bastard!"  
  
"Shut up," said Heihachi.  
  
"Nurse!! Did you knew that my father threw me off a cliff?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"No, but now, I'll call the police as soon as we cure him," said the nurse.  
  
"Good," said Kazuya. "And he also threw me into a active volcano 20 years ago!"  
  
"Okay, I'm calling the police!" exclaimed the nurse.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" screamed Heihachi. And so the police came and he was arrested, he met up with his prison mates: Baek and Craig.  
  
"I'll break your face!" exclaimed Craig.  
  
"Hi old fart," said Baek. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR FARTING ON MY FACE!!"  
  
Heihachi sweat dropped. Prison was going to be hell for him, like it is for everyone. And his bail was 500,500,500,500 billion, like anyone was gonna get him out. And he was supposed to be in jail for 60 years, which by then that bastard would be dead.  
  
Now Baek's bail was 2 thousand dollars, which Hwoarang is selling drugs to get him out (just like Half-Baked.)  
  
End of Chapter 2 


	3. Kazuya's Birthday

The Affairs of Mishima Manor  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing!  
  
And thanks for the reviews... damn... 3 reviews for the first chapter! More than TTMHP's first chapter! If you reviewed before I posted this, then... thank you for that too.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
And so it was another day at the mansion, and Kazuya got back to normal, little did he know, it was his birthday today!  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" screamed Jun, Jin, and Lee.  
  
"Huh? What?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"Today is August 1! Your birthday," said Jun.  
  
"DAMN! Have you've been going to KMAS lately?" asked Kazuya.  
  
"No... Jin has though," said Jun. "And what's KMAS?"  
  
"Never mind... Jin! I'm proud of you, you've went to one of my fan shrines!" exclaimed Kazuya.  
  
"Uh... yeah, so go to mine," said Jin.  
  
"Um... okay," said Kazuya. "It's a deal!"  
  
"Kazuya, I'm going on a date with you!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"Yay!" exclaimed Kazuya.  
  
"First I must shave," said Jun. She ran to the bathroom and shaved her armpits and legs. She then ran out of the bathroom.  
  
"Let's go sexy," said Jun.  
  
Everyone gave the O.O look.  
  
"Whoa..." said everyone.  
  
"Whatever," said Jun. She grabbed Kazuya's hand and rushed him out of the house.  
  
"So... what did you got him Jin?" asked Lee.  
  
"I already did something for him. I went to his fan sites," said Jin. "What did you got him?"  
  
"I bought him pure cocaine," said Lee. "He's bound to make enough money to bail Heihachi out."  
  
"You want that old fart here?" asked Jin.  
  
"Yeah, I just rebuilt Combot and I want a test subject... a old person is the one!" exclaimed Lee.  
  
"Why don't you just ask Wang?" asked Jin.  
  
"I don't hate Wang. I hate Heihachi and I'm gonna fucking bail him out and give even more torture to him than prison!" exclaimed Lee.  
  
"Okay! Hwoarang is also dealing drugs, just like Half-Baked. I say we join him in drug dealing. The name shall be called... Stars of Applying Poop! Or SOAP!" screamed Jin.  
  
Oh, and Baek is now going to be in jail for 2 years.  
  
So With Kazuya and Jun  
  
They were going to watch Rainbow Monkeys: The Movie  
  
"I love this movie," said Jun.  
  
"Okay," said Kazuya.  
  
Jun then kissed Kazuya, as Yoshimitsu got it all on tape.  
  
"w00t!" cheered Yoshimitsu.  
  
"WHEE! Rainbow monkey, rainbow monkey! WHEE!" screamed Jun.  
  
'The horror, the horror,' thought Kazuya.  
  
So at Prison  
  
Baek was punching, kicking, and slapping Heihachi madly, as he cried while it happened.  
  
"DIE YOU GOD DAMN OLD FART!" screamed Baek.  
  
"How much I rather have been strangled by Kazuya!" exclaimed Heihachi. Craig laughed maniacally.  
  
"Sucker!" exclaimed Craig.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!" screamed Heihachi as his ass was being slapped madly.  
  
"KAZUYA SHOULD OF DONE THIS YEARS AGO!" screamed Baek.  
  
"FUUUUUUCK!" screamed Heihachi. He continued to be slapped in the ass, punched, and kicked. And if you were a fan of Heihachi, well no offense!  
  
"Actually... Kazuya really did this to me years ago, it's just that he brought me to near death by strangling me. But you're just slapping my ass, meaning you're gay," said Heihachi.  
  
"LIES!" screamed Baek. Craig broke into laughter, once again.  
  
So back at Mishima Manor  
  
Hwoa- oh fuck it, Bob. Came into the manor.  
  
"WASSUP HOMIES! LET'S GO DO SOME DEALING NIGGA!" screamed Bob.  
  
"I found that offensive," said Jin. "You damn racist!"  
  
"Shut up. Let's just go do some dealin'," said Bob.  
  
Lee, Bob, and Jin then did some selling, and at the end of the day they got $5,000.  
  
"Holy shit, we nearly gotten caught by the police!" exclaimed Hwoarang as they entered Jin's room.  
  
"Yeah," said Jin. "Let's do something safer Hwoarang. Like... be on wrestling!"  
  
"And get our asses kicked by King?" asked Hwoarang. "Okay!"  
  
"How about we start our own wrestling thing? Wait... why don't we get the money from Namco? They own us," said Lee.  
  
"No they don't! They just have rights to use us. And besides, Nina is making them work 24/7," said Jin.  
  
"How the fuck did you know that?" asked Lee.  
  
"I just do," said Jin.  
  
And so they then called everyone from Tekken expect Kazuya, Jun, and those at jail.  
  
So then Kazuya and Jun went into the mansion, until everyone said Surprise.  
  
"YOU'RE NOW 50 YEARS OLD. AND WE CAN CALL YOU AN OLD FART SOON!" screamed everyone expect Jun. Kazuya turned into his devil form.  
  
"DO SO AND I SWEAR TO GO I'LL FUCKING KICK YOUR ASSES AND MAKE SURE YOU ROT IN HELL!" screamed Devil Kazuya, he turned back to human.  
  
"So, where the fuck is the purple suit?" asked Paul.  
  
"I just polished it, it's fucking sweet. I'm gonna put it on. Fuck around Paul and I swear to god I'll throw a brick at your head!" exclaimed Kazuya, he ran upstairs.  
  
"Damn, he's back to his old self," said Lei. "Okay! I shall now try to hit on Jun." Lei then tried to hit on Jun, but then Jun tried to do Kazuya's TGF, but failed. But instead, kicked Lei's balls.  
  
"YOU BETTER FUCKING HAVE THAT DISCLAIMER!" screamed Nina.  
  
"Shut up bitch!" exclaimed Anna. They then got into a fight and bitch slapped each other madly.  
  
Jin just stared madly.  
  
"Dude, cat fights! SWEET!" screamed Hwoarang. "I bet 1 dollar on Nina."  
  
Jun then returned to normal.  
  
"STOP IT YOU FUCKERS!!" screamed Jun.  
  
"And it said she turned to normal. I'm confused," said Forrest Law.  
  
"You're always confused, dip shit," said Paul.  
  
"TAKE THAT BACK BASTARD!" screamed Law, he punched Paul madly until he was insane.  
  
"RAINBOW MONKEYS!!" screamed Paul.  
  
"I'm sick of this shit! And fuck church!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"Holy shit, the devil is possessing Jun! Oh my god!!" exclaimed Jin. "Cool."  
  
"Jun, you're an official member of the people that don't like church!" exclaimed Hwoarang, he then drank ¼ of beer.  
  
"PARTY FOR JUN AND KAZUYA!" screamed King. He gave everyone beer. Then Kazuya came down to the living room.  
  
Then, Jun turned into Devil Jun.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Kazuya.  
  
"Mwahahaha! Let's go get crazy," said Jun.  
  
"I like your style Jun," said Kazuya. But little did Kazuya know, Jun made a deal with the devil to make Kazuya happy today.  
  
And so they got crazy and partied madly, until Lee stepped up on a table.  
  
"OKAY BITCHES! I'M MAKING A WRESTLING PROGRAM! ALL OF YOU BASTARDS ARE GOING TO BE IN IT! AND INVITE PEOPLE! IF YOU DO, YOU GET A COOKIE FOR EACH PERSON TO TELL TO COME!" screamed Lee.  
  
"Okay!" said everyone.  
  
And so that was how Tekken Wrestling began. Though, the title won't change, it's just like that though for no obvious reasons.  
  
Then, Jun returned to normal, for real!  
  
"What the fuck?" asked everyone.  
  
"Deal with the devil!" exclaimed Jun.  
  
"Damn!" exclaimed everyone. But they continued to party as King won 50 times straight in the chugging contest.  
  
Jin and Ling went up to Jin's room, and kissed. The same with Bob and Julia.  
  
"What the fuck? I realized that's not my name," said Hwoarang.  
  
"Um, Hwoarang. It's your middle name," said Julia.  
  
"OH SHIT!" screamed Hwoarang.  
  
Anyways, back to the party.  
  
Bryan was utterly kicking Lei's ass, as Bruce cheered.  
  
"LET'S ALL GO GET NAKED!" screamed Bruce. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"What... the... fuck?" they all asked.  
  
Bruce then took off his clothes, and ran around the mansion naked.  
  
"o.O" Everyone gave that look.  
  
"I wonder," said Kazuya.  
  
"What?" asked Jun.  
  
"Why isn't Granyu smelly?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
Granyu was then stalking Michelle wherever the hell she went.  
  
"STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU FAT ASS!" screamed Michelle, she got an knife and chased Granyu all over the mansion.  
  
"TAKE IT AFTER THE PARTY! I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR THESE RUGS!" screamed Kazuya.  
  
Julia then shot Granyu with a tranquil as he came near her.  
  
"Bobby is meh boy bitch!" exclaimed Julia.  
  
"Bobby? What the fuck? It isn't my nickname," said Hwoarang.  
  
"Bobby is your middle name's nickname," said Julia.  
  
"Middle names have nicknames? Holy shit!" exclaimed Hwoarang.  
  
So back to the party, which I should make more characters talk in!  
  
Alex then started to drink beer with Roger, which then Gon farted on Alex. And they started to kick each other's asses.  
  
"ANIMAL BETS!" screamed Kuma.  
  
"FUCK YOU KUMA!" screamed Panda, they started fighting.  
  
"Holy shit, they can talk!" exclaimed Eddy. He then danced madly because of this.  
  
"1 4m ph33r1ng 7h47 7h15 w1ll m4k3 3v3ry0n3 cr4zy," said Gun Jack.  
  
"Stop speaking robot you bitch!" exclaimed Eddy.  
  
"He said... oh fuck it," said Jane.  
  
"Why am I thinking of how to kick all of your asses?" asked Kazuya.  
  
Jun then kissed Kazuya.  
  
"Yay!" exclaimed Kazuya, when the kiss was done.  
  
Yoshimitsu then was meditating with his sword, as Kunimistu stole it and made it a reverse blade.  
  
"Whatever the fuck was his name that was a killer in that show with swords and shit! TO THE HELL OF REVERSE BLADES BITCH!" screamed Kunimistu.  
  
"Actually, you made it a awesome blade," said Yoshimitsu. He then slashed Kunimistu, who then stabbed Yoshimistu.  
  
"CANNONBALLS!" screamed Ling. "AHHHHH!"  
  
"Um... run?" asked Jin.  
  
"STOP! I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES IF YOU DON'T STOP!" screamed Kazuya, they then stopped.  
  
So then they all got drunk, and slept at Kazuya's mansion.  
  
End of Chapter 3  
  
Kazuya: Okay, I'd like to say that this was very weird a little.  
  
Jun: I will shoot myself if I ever make a deal with the devil.  
  
Jin: Why come we get to talk?  
  
Jun: To make the story longer.  
  
Kazuya: Why come we're not married? Come on, let's fuck this and get married!  
  
Jun: YEAH!  
  
Jin: Damn. Now I'll be Jin Mishima. That's a fucked up name.  
  
Hwoarang: How about Karama Mishima?  
  
Jin: Sounds sexy, I should go change it to that.  
  
Lee: Why the fuck do I want to bail him out?  
  
Kazuya: Because you're a dumbass.  
  
Lee: FUCK OFF KAZUYA!  
  
So... the end of this chapter viewing before a fight! 


	4. Sneaker Collection

The Affairs of Mishima Manor

Chapter 4

Lee stared at the papers, and broke his cigarette in half. He looked at all the bills that would come from Tekken Wrestling.

"Fuck it... I'll just bail that ass out and get Tekken Tag Tournament 2. But this time. YOU'LL GET TO HAVETHREE CHARACTERS! BITCHES!"

"LEE! You fucking woke me up!" cried Kazuya.

"Oh, sorry," said Lee.

"Well. Everyone left... better make sure no one took a sneaker from my sneaker collection," said Kazuya. He went to his sneaker collection upstairs, and screamed.

"SOMEONE STOLE ONE OF MAH SNEAKERS... AND THIS NOTE HERE SAID IT WAS PAUL!" screamed Kazuya. "You fucking bastard Phoenix! You dumb dumb! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Has my Kazzy gotten his first period?" asked Jun.

"Wha...?" Lee looked at her.

"Oh, silly me. I'm still druuuunk!" Jun laughed like a maniac and began playing Tekken 2.

"Whoa, Jun's playing video games," said Jin as he instantly woke up.

"Oh and 'yer cousin Asuka's comin' tomorrow," said Jun.

"ASUKA? WHAT THE FUCK?" asked Jin.

"Now Jinny, Jin, Jin! Don't make Kazuya spank you!" cried Kazuya, as he seemed like he was sobbing.

"God damn. One pair of sneakers and he's crying?" asked Lee.

"THOSE WERE 100. DAMMIT!" he cried once more.

"You know what Kazuya, go outside and kick Paul's ass," said Jun.

"Yeah, mah dadda!" Jin winked.

Kazuya walked down stairs, and smacked Jin. "Don't you dare wink again."

He ran out of the mansion.

"BRUCE? You're still here?" asked Kazuya, he stared at the naked Bruce.

"HA HA HA HA! NUDITY AND YAOI SHALL CONSUME YOU!" he screamed.

"AHHHHHH!" Kazuya ran like hell.

Bruce then ran into the mansion...

"MY VIRGIN EYES!" screamed Jun.

"But mom, you're not a virgin... I wonder how the hell Kazuya seduced you now," said Jin, and began pondering.

"Nephew. My rival, Kazuya, has a Devil Within. He has great seduction powers," said Lee.

"Oh Kazuuuyaaaa... 'yer hot," said Jun. "But Bruce..." Jun then smacked him in the bace.

"I FEEL SEXY. OOOHHHH LA LA LAAAAAAA!" screamed Bruce. The cops then barged into the place and arrested Bruce.

"YAY!" Jin screamed.

At some street

As Kazuya pounded Paul like a god, sneakers then flew into the sky, and dropped to him. Kazuya smiled, it was the ones that were stolen. He then grabbed them and ran like hell. But the cops were after him.

"Oh fuck. Someones going holes on me!" cried Kazuya. He then morphed into a Devil, and flew to the mansion.

Back at the mansion...

"I have the sneakers! YES! YES!" cried Kazuya, he then grabbed Jun and the both of them snuggled and kissed like there's no tomorrow.

"Sick!" cried Jin.

"Well, better go get the money to bail him out. We have 100,000," said Lee. And so the both of them rushed out of the mansion... and came back with much more money.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Asuka's Visit

The Affairs of Mishima Manor

Chapter 5

Jin sighed.

Asuka grinned.

"I love you Kazuya," said Jun all of the sudden.

Then Kazuya then made out with Jun, and rushed to their bedroom to do you know what.

"Um... I'll pretend I didn't see that," said Jin.

It was then quiet for 10 minutes in the Living Room... faint noises from upstairs can be heard.

"THAT'S IT DAMMIT. Let's get the hell out of here," said Lee.

Asuka then picked up a box of tissues and shoved a bunch of a tissues up her nostrils... then pulled them out and placed them on the Lee.

"What the fuck?" he asked.

Jin then started to play Tekken 5.

Asuka then played as her character and kicked Jin's ass.

"What the hell is your deal?" asked Jin.

"My breasts!" cried Asuka.

"Oh yeah... hey, that didn't happen yet!"

"Jin, yes it did," said Lee.

"Oh... uh... right!" exclaimed Jin. Xiaoyu then barged into the mansion and kissed her Jin, then the two went out.

"Um... stop staring at me," said Lee as Asuka glared at him.

"You're like... 48 and you have gray hair... you were um... 28 and had gray hair. ARE YOU FUCKING RELATED TO TRUNKS?"

"I think so," said Lee as he pulled a Kazuya, meaning he threw a brick at her and ran out.

"THE ORIGINAL IS BETTER!" he screamed. (Yes, I am a Asuka fan even though she doesn't have that much of a great plot... but the original is better though... in my opinion! I'm sure you know who the original is...)

"Bitches," said Asuka.

A naked Jun and Kazuya tumbled down the stairs hugging each other.

"Ew... naked people... I'm gonna go now," said Asuka... but then was attacked by Kuma.

"I EAT LITTLE GIRLS!" screamed Kuma and clawed Asuka.

"Why is everyonehating me?"

Then Julia and Nina barged into the room.

"My sweet little boy who I wonder who the hell is the father!" cried Nina.

"YOU TOOK MAH HWOARANG!" screamed Julia.

"It's not my fault. And Steve was made from your DNA," said Asuka.

"And you're 17 years old and smarter than meeee!" said Julia.

"I'm outta here," said Asuka, and ran for her life which then she split a potion on Kazuya and Jun somehow... making them look like their TTT selves.

Nina sighed and poked Kazuya's ass and then walked out.

Julia then grabbed Jun's headband and ran out...

IN ARIZONA

"Julia! You stoled her headband," said Michelle and she sat in her rocking chair.

"Nina poked his ass," said Julia.

"Why I remember the time when we posed for him at the beach... in bathen suits. WE LOOKED HOT!" screamed Michelle so loud that all the buffalo in the area died.

"YOU KILLED THE BUFFALO YOU BITCH!" screamed Julia. "Now we fucking have half cow and half buffalo creatures!"

"BUT HALF BREEDS KICK ASS!"

"How the hell did I get to Arizona when the manor is in Japan so quickly?"

With a rather sexy time with Jin and Xiaoyu.

"Let's go to my roller coster Jinny!" cried Xiaoyu and dragged Jin to her rollercoster.

"ROLLACOSTA!" sung Jin and Xiaoyu while on the coster... singing the Rollacosta song.

After the ride finished Xiaoyu's TTT song played... and they saw Lei and Yoshimitsu playing on the Tekken 2 arcade.

"I'm kicking your ass!" cried Yoshimitsu as he unleased attacks of the Yoshimitsu.

"JACK CHAIN'S CLONE WAS HERE!" cried Lei.

"IT'S JACKY CHAN YOU BITCH!" screamed Yoshimitsu as they were now in the final round of 5 fights.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" screamed Lei.

"Um... whoa," said Jin. Just then Ogre came up to them.

"I STEAL SOULS!" he screamed.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Jin.

"Feel the power of annoying Chinese girls!" said Xiaoyu. She then went Sailor Moon and used her moon tiara on Ogre.

"You just called yourself annoying," said Jin, but no one was paying attention to him.

"FEAR THE WRATH OF OGRE!"

Devil Jin then came along and kicked his ass.

"What the fuck? How can I fucking appear in two places?" asked Jin.

"**MWAHAHAHA! IT'S FEAR THE WRATH OF GOD!**"

"Hey bitch!" cried Asuka as she then kicked Devil Jin in the balls, and he died.

"OH MY GOD ASUKA!" cried Jin, and before he could put his face onto her breasts again Hwoarang came out of nowhere and did it.

"OH MY GOD ANOTHER PERVERT!" screamed Asuka as she kicked Bob in the balls and ran all the way back to Osaka.

End of Chapter 5


	6. Lee's Unholy Quest

The Affairs of Mishima Manor

Chapter 6

"What the fuck?" asked Kazuya as he looked at himself with an ugly mirror. "JUN! WHO BOUGHT THIS UGLY PIECE OF CRAP?"

"KAZUYA!" screamed Jun. "Don't call the mirror crappy. Go to Church now dammit."

"But you just said damn-"

"Come on boy with a rather big ass. Let's go," said Jun as they skipped along to church while Kazuya made himself a mental note.

'Get a censoring machine in the house.'

Lee barged into the house yard and ran for his life to the doors. King was after him for Lee didn't give him beer.

"ROOOOAAAAARRRR!" screamed King.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Lee as he then got whacked in the head with a bottle of beer by Armor King and went KO.

King and Armor King then whipped up beer out of nowhere and cheered in victory. King then placed Lee into a closet, and then stoled all the beer in the house and VODKA. They then celebrated themselves home.

LEE'S INFAMOUS DREAM

Lee was with a masked King, laying in his arms and drinking beer at the same time.

"I love you King! You're so great," said Lee in a voice for lust.

"ROAR!"

Lee just smiled.

"LEE!"

Lee then woke up as he was slapped by Kazuya.

"What the fuck... me and King a couple...?" asked Lee.

"What the fuck are you talking about dammit? THE HOUSE IS A DAMN MESS! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED YOU DAMN GAYZO!"

"I am NOT gay. And well, King robbed the house of all our beer... and... and..." Lee looked over to the kitchen to see that it was a mess.

"HE TOOK THE VODKA!" cried Jun. Jun then buried her head in Kazuya's chest.

Kazuya giggled and gave a smile to Lee.

"Heh heh. I giggled and I dunno why," said Kazuya, trying not to swear.

"Why didn't you say what the fuck?" asked Lee.

"Anyways. Lee. Bring that damn Vodka and Beer back before Doctor Bosknovitch... did I say it right? Comes here."

Lee shrugged and grabbed his cigarettes. He went into his Unicorn vest... er... Tekken 5 Unicorn costume... and hopped onto his Honda and drove off to King's place, which was in Mexico and somehow he'd drive on water.

MAIN STREET...

Lee drove in Main Street, looking at the sight around him. Panda was ontop of Kuma in such a fashion it scared him. The people sounded like zombies, and Lee didn't know what the fuck to do. He then saw Nina beating the shit out of a Namco Employee.

"NINA!" he screamed and Nina walked towards him.

"Those bitches didn't make my game much about me... DEATH BY DEGREES MY ASS! AND LOOK AT TEKKEN 5! THERE'S A FUCKING GLOWING SON A FUCKING HARD BITCH OF A GRANDFATHER BITCH OF FUCKING KAZUYA THAT DAMN FIRE BLOWING GOD DAMN BITCH!"

"Nina..."

"What?"

"Hop in."

"Sure my ex."

So Nina hopped on.

"So um... how the hell are we supposed to get to Mexico?" asked Nina.

"We drive so fast we fly to California," said Lee.

"Sounds good."

As they drove in the speed of lightning Raven then went into the car.

"Your driving is so fast it's my mission," said Raven.

"Fuck off," said Nina and bitched slapped him.

"Nice apples Nina. I think I'm going to join your quest," said Raven.

"Um... okaaaay..." Lee wondered how the hell Raven could read minds, but then he remembered that there wasa Raven in Teen Titans who could not read minds. But Lee didn't realized THE UNHOLY QUEST was writen on his car.

Raven smoked a ciggarette with Nina and Lee as they drove to Mexico...

"Alright dudes, the ramps there...!" exclaimed Lee as he pointed at the ramp.

"Dudes, Lee, dudes?" asked Raven and then everyone in the car laughed. Suddenly Tiger appeared in the car.

"DISCO FEVER BABY! STAYIN' ALIVE... AH AH AH AH!" sung Tiger.

"Should we kill him?" asked Raven in such a badass voice.

"No. We need a disco dude," said Lee.

Raven shrugged and chilled back at the car.

They then went on the ramp and flew high sky where then Gon farted on them.

"OH MY GOD!" the party screamed as then they landed on the beach of California where they saw Roger looking at PlayBoy Magazine.

The car stopped at Roger and Roger jumped in the car and kissed Nina.

"SIGN MY PLAYBOY MAGAZINE!" screamed Roger who held a pen in his hand. Nina shrugged and signed it.

Roger blushed and giggled like the Kangaroo he is.

Nina sighed. "I hate animals... they're useless."

"But they attract women to play Tekken," said Tiger. "YA ME."

"And what makes you say that? I bet most girls play it not for the animals," said Nina.

"$5," said Tiger.

"Yes. $5," said Nina.

Lee sighed and just droved to Mexico at lightning speed.

AT MEXICO

Steve Fox and Craig Marduk were having a bitch fight in the ring while King and Armor King drank beer.

Lee's famous Honda then barged into the room and fired at Craig's butt with his gun.

"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST CRAIG FOR BREAKING OUT OF JAIL. BITCH!" screamed Lee.

"Awww fuck!" cried Craig and whacked himself with King's vodka.

"BITCH!" screamed King as he and Armor King went Tekken Tag and kicked Marduk's ass.

Steve Fox cheered with victory. He won and all the ladies were dancing around him.

"STEEEEVE!" screamed Nina as she whipped up a belt.

"I'm not a pimp Mommy!" exclaimed Steve.

"Good Steve... good Dean Earwick..." Nina patted him on his head.

"It's Steve Fox. No one likes that name, bitch," said Steve.

"MOTHA' FUCKA!" Nina then pulled his pants down and whipped him with his belt.

Raven then smacked Nina.

"He's not a kid anymore, let him fuck up his own life." Raven then poked Nina.

"ROAR!" roared King like the masked wrestler he is.

"Bitch!" cried Lee. "I want my fucking beer and Vodka back before Kazuya kicks my ass."

"ROAR!" roared King once more.

"Fuck you," said Lee and kicked King in the balls.

Then at this moment, Roger realized that Raven looked like Wesley Snipes.

"SNIPES! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" asked Roger.

"Snipes... what the fuck?" asked Raven.

Nina slapped herself.

"Those Namco people have lost it," she said calmly.

"BUT IRISH CHICK. YOU TOOK OVER NAMCO!" screamed Tiger as Disco music came and he did some Disco moves.

"Don't call me Irish Chick Eddy's shadow," said Nina and gave him the f,f,3.

Tiger cried.

Nina grinned.

Steve was still crying from the booboo on his ass.

Raven was kicking Roger's ass.

Roger was smiling at the fact that he was losing to Raven.

Armor King was just drinking, watching the scene.

King was K.O.

Lee... Lee... he...

"Let's go bitches. I got the vodka and beer," said Lee as he quickly got all the stuff. He and his party drove off back to Japan.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

"I bet that Lee is jacking off somewhere," said Jin.

"JIN!" screamed Jun. "Lee will come back with the AWESOME INCREDIBLE BEER AND VODKA!"

"Daddy. Why come you never told me that mommy liked Vodka and Beer?"

"You see Jin... don't call me daddy dammit... anyways, son, we had Vodka and Beer when I met Jun really and that's where I started to not have that urge to kill mommy since she loved animals so much and because of Devil. Oh yeah and that's when we started dating and when we finally made you," Kazuya explained.

"Um... okaaaaay," said Jin as he then started playing Tekken.

"That's right son! Play as me, your creator," said Kazuya.

Lee then walked into the house with all the stuff.

"YAY!" screamed everyone in the house as Bosknovitch gave Lee some money to help him bail Heihachi out.

"You know, that reminds me," said Kazuya. "If we're like... the richest people in Japan why come it seems that we're poor and stuff...?"

The police then came and said that they can not use money from the bank and only money they earned... and that somehow they know that they earned it.

"Okay. Nevermind," said Kazuya. "Better because now it'll take forever for the old bastard to come."

Jun was too drunk to realize that Kazuya sweared.

"I love Kazuya, he's a rather sexy man and Jin is just a poser... oh Kazuya you bring great happiness and pleasure," said Jun.

"Hey!" cried Jin as Lee then punched him.

"LET'S ALL GET DRUNK AND CELEBRATE IN VICTORY FOR THE QUEST IS OVER!" cried Lee. And so everyone got drunk and partied... in the house.

With Heihachi in prison

Heihachi was getting his ass kicked by Craig and Baek.

"I LIKE OLD FARTS THAT FART A LOT!" screamed Craig as he sniffed Heihachi's fart.

"OH GOD! PLEASE!" screamed Heihachi.

"What's better is that you're an immortal son of a bitch!" cried Baek and pinched Heihachi hard.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" cried Heihachi.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Tekken News

The Affairs of Mishima Manor

Chapter 7

Jin was on Ultra Hard mode as him, playing Tekken 5.

Kazuya sighed, Jin was wasting his life on that damn Tekken, and he needed a damn job.

And just before Jin got to Jinpachi, Kazuya turned the PS2 off and began to laugh like a maniac.

Bryan got jealous, so he went to Kazuya's house.

"Um... how the fuck did you get here?" asked Jin.

"Shut the fuck up!" exclaimed Bryan and well... um... went rising and somehow the 1 was used then the 2. Damn, I need to play as Bryan more often.

Jin then crawled over to a mouse hole, where then rats came out of and RE Outbreak intro music started playing.

Lee taped the scene as if it was classic.

"Bravo! Wee wee! Yes, yes... bite that son of a bitch as if Heihachi threw his diapers on you!" Lee cried with such drama. "BEAUTIFUL!"

Jun just chilled watching the scene as if anything happened. In fact, Jun was too busy having ahangover to realize what was going on.

"Um... go to church!" exclaimed Jun as she then started brewing a potion for hangovers. Angel then came and bitch slapped Jun for turning over to the dark side... the witch side. Jun then got a broomstick and believed she was flying on it. (I read in some book that witches were house wives who I think either got drunk or something... er... fell asleep and believed they were flying on broomsticks. Funny thing is that people believed them. But. Those were the times where Merlin roamed around claiming he was the most powerful wizard ever.)

Kazuya got pissed. So he then kicked Bryan's balls who then began laughing like crazy.

"Again!" cried Bryan.

"Okaaaay..." Kazuya then bitch kicked Bryan, who then tried to punch Kazuya but got EWGF! wooooo!

"I'm here now... I'm doing the best I can..." Bryan fell down, dead.

"**MWAHAHAHAHA**!" screamed Jin as he turned Devil Jin and killed the rats and began eating Bryan's body.

"SON! I THOUGHT THEY KILLED YOU!" screamed Kazuya as he went TGF on Devil Jin and he went to normal.

"About that job!" exclaimed Jin as he scratched his butt... "damn wedgies of a young hoodlum..."

"JIN! TO CHURCH!" screamed Jun.

Jin then quickly ran out of the house with Kazuya and they rushed towards Church.

"JIN YOU DAMN PRETTY BOY!" screamed Kazuya.

"I LIKE CHINESE GIRLS!" screamed Jin as he grabbed Ling Xiaoyu from nowhere and kissed her.

"OH MY GOD DID THAT 11 YEAR OLD BOY GRAB THAT 12 YEAR OLD'S NUTS!" screamed Kazuya.

"RUN BITCH RUN!" screamed Jin as a 7 year old danced around naked, wiggling its fingers and saying moo at the same time.

"I AM A ROOSTER HEAR ME ROAR MY MOO!" screamed Kazuya as he then slapped a nun.

"Arf! Arf!" cried Jin.

The nun then barked like a chicken, and a bunch of them rushed towards Kazuya, who slapped them all.

"THAT'S FOR ALL THE YEARS OF HUMILATION SISTER CHRISTIE!" screamed Kazuya as Christie Moniterio or however you spell it came in a nun outfit and got herself bitch slapped.

"YAAAAAAAA!" screamed a priest as he barged to punch Kazuya.

Just then Paul knocked the priest out.

"THAT FOR MOLESTING ME AS AN ADULT YOU BASTARD!"

Jin then scratched his head. "I don't I like this at all. Dammit dad, where the fuck is the place to get a job?"

"Ah... next to the church," said Kazuya as he pointed to a little house next to the church.

So inside the house.

"WELCOME TO 'DA TEKKEN NEWS!" screamed... WANG!

There was Jane, Xiaoyu, Julia, Feng Wei, and...

drumroll

cookies are scary...

uh oh

not

ha ha cheese is smelly but good

so is ramen

and pie...

drumroll

AND Angel.

"Welcome Jin to the Tekken News!" cried Xiaoyu.

"Welcome, my angelicson," said Angel.

"Wow... you are hot," said Wang.

"My boyfriend Hwoarang is hotter than yours," said Julia.

"ASUKA IS A BITCH!" screamed Feng Wei.

"I SHALL BRING YOU TO LIFE MY JACK! May your metalic wang bend with mines... _CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIN_!" screamed Jane.

"Um... hello everyone," said Jin.

"Alright, our duty is to explain how to kick Jinpachi's ass," said Julia.

"My angelic grandfather," said Angel as she was making outwith a cat. "This is the only way you can get into heaven, angelic friends."

"Ah... um... whatever. TO FINAL STAGE 1!" screamed Wang as they hopped into the Wang mobile (oO)

"_CRAWLING IN MY SKIIN_!" screamed Jane as they drove off.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD DAMMIT!" screamed Angel.

So at Final Stage 1 of Tekken 5

"I think I'm enfused with the Ogre blood. THEORIZE ABOUT ME BITCHES!" screamed Jinpachi. "Better yet, fantasize. I need to score... I haven't scored for... ah... 70 something years. THAT LONG GOD DAMMIT!"

"You'll score soon enough, my friend, let us have booze," said Wang as he began dancing with Jinpachi while drinking wine at the same time.

"NOTES MY ANGELIC SON!" screamed Angel.

Jin took notes of everything that was happening.

"My grandpa doesn't get hangovers at all! And he's 103 years old!" giggled Xiaoyu as she danced along with Wang.

"Who wants to be scored by a 103 old man? Eh? Ehhhh?" asked Wang.

"_CRAWLING IN MY SKIIN!_" screamed Jane.

"I angelically screwed Jun Kazama. Oh yeah. I'm so not a lesbian, I AM AN ANGELIC MAN!" screamed Angel as she fired a lazar beam at Jinpachi.

"That's it. I'm gonna kick some ass bitches," said Feng Wei as he then royally kicked Jinpachi's ass.

"OH MY GOD. THEY KILLED JINPACHI!" screamed Julia as her boobs then jiggled.

"YOU CHINESE KENPO SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Wang as he then showed his Wang ranger badge at Feng, then put it away.

"I must have metal in me! Yes! _CRAWLING IN MY SKIIN!_" screamed Jane.

So then they went back to the place, published their newspaper, and all got their salary of $42.

Back at Mishima Manor.

"How was your day today Jinny?" asked Jun.

"All fucked up, mother," said Jin.

"_TO CHURCH!_"

End of Chapter 7


	8. Tekken 6

The Affairs of Mishima Manor

Oh shit! I haven't updated in a long time!

Chapter 8

It was a normal day at Mishima Manor. Jun was praying, Jin was playing video games, Lee was smoking and Kazuya was sitting on the couch, bored as he watched Jin play video games.

Suddenly, the phone started to ring. Kazuya then walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"'Yo," he said. After some talking with the person on the phone, Kazuya quickly put the phone back. "OH DEEEEE!!!"

"What's going on?" asked Lee as he walked over to Kazuya.

"Lili, Dragunov, Leo, Manly Man, and Zafina are coming over!" he cried.

"Oh hell no," said Jin as he paused his game and looked at Kazuya. Jun then walked into the living room.

"Oh, we're having guests? Oooh, I can't wait! Let's clean the house!" yipped yip Jun. She then bounced around, put a French Maid outfit on, and started to clean the house. Kazuya started panting.

"Kazzy... you okay?" Lee asked.

"Jun... french maid... HOT!" cried Kazuya.

"AHHHHHH!" cried Jin. "Please, it's hell enough dealing with the Tekken News! Take it somewhere else dad!"

Kazuya quickly went upstairs and locked his door.

"That Kazuya... I don't even wanna know," Lee said.

THE NEXT DAY!

"Welcome to our home!" Jun cried as the guests took seats around the house.

"Ah yes, that is very nice of you. You have a very lovely home. Why, back in India..." Zafina then started to tell a long story about her days in India.

"Um... well, that's cool!" Jun told her. "So, I'd like to to know about you, Dragunov."

"I AM FROM RUSSIA! I am a spy! I like to spy on little children! Heheh!" giggled Dragunov.

"Your face looks like you'd do such a thing," Lee told him.

"Well, I hope God helps you," said Jun. "Lili?"

"I LIKE TO FIGHT!!!" Lili screamed. Suddenly, Hwoarang jumped in through the window.

"Who likes to fight?!" Hwoarang asked. He looked around.

"MUAH!" cried Lili. She walked over to him.

"Oh really, las' go bitch!" Hwoarang cried. Lili smiled as they went outside to beat the shit out of each other.

"Damn, these people are crazy," said Jin. Jun then smacked him.

"Como estas?" asked Manly Man.

"Um, I'm fine," said Lee.

"My name is Miguel. I am from Mexico!"

"Oooh Mexico. You know King?" asked Jun.

"Oh yeah, King? He's my favorite macho libre! Can I meet him?" Miguel asked. Suddenly, a there was a loud roar and King and Armor King came rolling in through the window. Jun twitched.

"RAWR! Who's Mexican?!" cried King.

"Me!" cried Miguel as he rushed to his heroes.

"Let us go brother! TEQUILA!" cried King. The mexicans then rushed out of there as they drank booze.

Jun sighed.

"Well, I gotta go now. I'm gonna go to the park," said Dragunov as he then walked out of there.

"Me too. I'm bored," Zafina said. She then walked out of there.

"Thank god that's over," Jun said.

Suddenly Kazuya then came down with roses and a card. He then kissed Jun.

"Awww... thank you Kazzy!" Jun cried. Jin was grossed out. Lee snickered.

"Jin! Stop cryin'! You're the bitch of Tekken 6 now, everyone's gonna kick your ass. You gotta stay strong! You got the purple suit now!" Kazuya told Jin. Jin nodded.

"Okay dad... whatever you say," Jin replied.

End of Chapter 8


End file.
